Cookies

You may have arrived at this page expecting the usual ritual, in which a translucent rectangle slides up from the bottom of the screen, briefly explains that your privacy is taken extremely seriously, and then presents you with a softly glowing “Accept All” button alongside a smaller, greyer, slightly apologetic “Manage Preferences” link that, when clicked, unfolds into a labyrinth of toggles spanning advertising partners you have never heard of and legitimate interests you have never knowingly granted. You will find no such rectangle here, because there is nothing to consent to, nothing to decline, and nothing quietly making notes about you in the background while you decide.

This website uses no cookies whatsoever. Not the ones politely described as essential, not the ones reassuringly labelled as analytics, not the ones cheerfully marketed as helping us improve your experience, and certainly not the ones whose actual purpose is to follow you across the open web for the next several months so that an unrelated retailer can advertise a kettle at you long after you have already bought one. The cookie jar is empty, the lid is on, and the jar itself has been put away in a cupboard you do not need to think about.

The wider habit of stuffing every visitor with trackers has, somewhere along the way, become so normalised that the consent banner now functions less as a meaningful choice and more as a small administrative tax on existing online, which is a curious state of affairs given that the regulations were originally introduced to protect people rather than to inconvenience them several times a day. The uncomfortable part is that on a great many sites the act of clicking “Reject All” achieves remarkably little in practical terms, because the same information continues to be collected through server-side workarounds, browser fingerprinting, and various other technically-not-cookies mechanisms that were quietly engineered to step neatly around the spirit of the rules while remaining just about within the letter of them.

We have taken what feels like the more honest approach, which is simply to not do any of that in the first place, on the grounds that an accountant’s website really does not need to know your approximate location, your device’s screen resolution, your scroll depth on the services page, or whether you hovered over the contact button for slightly longer than average before deciding against it. If you would like to know more about us, the most reliable way is still to get in touch and ask, rather than to have us silently observe you and draw our own conclusions.

The only remaining question, naturally, is where all the cookies actually went, and the answer, which we are not especially proud of but feel obliged to disclose, is that the Toffee Dog ate them.

For the record, and in plainer language for anyone who needs it in writing, this site sets no cookies, runs no analytics, embeds no third-party trackers, and does not share any information about your visit with anyone, because there is no information to share.